Saturday, November 3, 2012

Free Form Writing - Betrayal.


I wrapped the blanket around me as I stared blankly at the tv screen. I believe Power Rangers was on, but I hardly noticed, my attention was on much more important matters. D sat there, cross legged on the floor, completely ignoring my presence and for that I was relieved. I turned my attention to his friend whose name I’d already forgotten. He was a typical skinny white boy, short black hair and glasses. Nothing special at all, the complete opposite of D. D was built for the football team, super strong with almost platinum blonde hair. I turned my eyes back to the screen, swallowing out of nervousness. My throat felt dry, so dry in fact that it bugged me.

I stood and headed towards the kitchen, snagging a glass from the counter. I filled it up at the sink, staring out at the bushel of parents laugh and yelling at the football game on tv. I sipped the water slowly letting it sooth my throat and delaying going back into that room. I hated everything about this place, but I didn’t really have a choice. If I tried to hide out in the living room they’d just tell me to go play with the others anyways. Sometimes I really hated being ten.

I sighed and finished off the last of my water, turning to head back to the room. I wasn’t too worried today, there were too many people and D had a friend over anyways. Nothing was going too happened. I relaxed wandering down the hall to the last room on the left. Merely I stepped inside, closing the door behind me and automatically walking back to my spot. It wasn’t until I reached it did I notice something had changed.

Arms wrapped around from behind me, trapping me against a hard body, hands latching onto my chest. I may not have been fully developed, but there definitely was enough to grab onto. I froze, unable to make a sound. D’s mouth was close to my ear, his warm breath tickling it. His hands were rough, almost painful against me. I stared at the boy in front of me, still in the same position, watching the tv. He hadn’t noticed what was going on behind him yet, in the dark.

Why was D being so bold? He’s never done anything like this before and especially not in front of someone. I prayed that boy would turn around, would see me and question D. I prayed he would save me. In that moment he had gone from the boy I never met before to my only hope. Surely no one would stand for this if they saw it. I stared so hard at him I thought his brain would melt under the pressure. It seemed like ages before he noticed us, but it was probably one a minute, or two. D’s left hand slipped down my boy to my pants, sliding in under the edge of them before the boy ever noticed us.

He turned to see what had happened to his friends and for a moment he froze just like I had when he saw us. I locked eyes with him, secretly pleading for help, too make it stop. He stood up and walked over to us and I opened my mouth, for once I almost spoke, almost asked for help. And then his hand landed on my boob.

My mouth hung open, jaw locked in shock. His other hand encircled my waist as he groped me, his head leaning forward to bite my neck. I gasped, not in pleasure, but in shock. My only hope was a traitor too. He didn’t want to help me, he wanted to hurt me like D did.

Tears welled up in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. Hands ravished places they never should have and I stood there and took it, feeling stained with every inch they touched. How could he? How could he hurt me too? The questions pounded in my brain. I didn’t care what they did to me anymore, I only cared that I felt betrayed. I put my trust in a stranger, I put hope in him. I risked getting hurt more by almost asking for help and he threw it all away to hurt me as well. Is this all I was now? Some ragdoll for people’s pleasure? My throat closed up trying to hold back the sob inside. I never wanted this. I never wanted to share myself with D, now his friends? Just kill me please. Release me from this torture.

“Time to go!” My Mom’s voice echoing in the house. I blinked tear sliding from my face. I’m saved…

The hands holding me slowly release me and I jerk my clothes to their appropriate place. I didn’t look at them to see if they were disappointed. I didn’t look to see if that hard on I thought I felt behind me was really there or a figment of my imagination. I didn’t look to see if they were smiling at me. I ran.

I just ran.

I ran all the way to the car.

I grabbed me seatbelt and somehow managed to hold myself together for the whole 15 minute drive home. I ran to my room. I think I might have even jumped on my bed, but I don’t remember. I curled up in the corner of my bed, the one against the wall and I cried. I cried open mouth sobs into my pillows that night. I cried not for what happened to me, but for the fact that boy’s first thoughts were to join in and not help me.

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