In Memory of Jonah Blackwell

In Memory of Jonah Blackwell

Today’s blog is very personal. Today I write about a good friend and coworker of mine, Jonah Blackwell. On October 16, 2012 Jonah was found dead in a park in Carrollton, Texas. He committed suicide at about 3:30-4 pm in the afternoon, on a Tuesday. It came as a complete shock to everyone that knew him.

Jonah was a very happy, caring individual. He never once asked for help and faced every problem with a smile. He was a hard worker and did the task that others loathed, without a single word. Jonah could have easily had any manager position, or any girl he wanted, he was a very charismatic and caring individual. If you went to his Facebook page, it’s just overwhelming the number of people that he touched in his life. The stories, the phrases, the memories shared, it’s just amazingly painful to know that we can now not add anymore to that.

As a R.I.S.E. member I feel frustration that help stared at him every day in the face and he never asked for it. As a coworker I feel like a dark cloud hangs over our job, like his memory still echo’s there. But most importantly as a friend I feel hurt, loss, and anger. Anger he never reached out to me, loss because he was a good kid, and hurt that I didn’t reach out more to him. We all feel like we truly let him down that he felt he needed to leave everything behind. My husband, a fellow friend and coworker of his as well just faces anger. Anger because despite everything going on in his life he was so young, only 18, and had so much going for him; he was just “a goddamn good kid.”

In hindsight there were always signs. Odd conversations that ended in a lot of “I love you’s/never forget that.” Random conversations about a personal life that sucked. He hinted at physical/verbal abuse he suffered at home, constantly being kicked out, and relationship turmoil. Despite all that he always seemed to have a plan and have everything under control that we never thought twice about it. In a way, we were too wrapped up in our own lives and we did fail him. And for that I am sorry Jonah, I did fail you.

At work it was all we could talk about. Everyone hung on day to day by string, ready to break at even the whispering of his name. It’s very ironic to be in guest services, trying to be cheerful for people and kids on their vacation, but to secretly be crumbling inside. Our managers really stepped up and offered as much time, help, and talking they could for us. Even offering us to talk to a grief counselor if needed. For once, we were all able to pull together as a sort of family in our time of need.

At his memorial service it was very hard, but beautiful. The church was packed with friends, family, coworkers and schoolmates. There were 50 people from work alone including almost all our managers and supervisors. I couldn't even being to guess how many total were there, at least 300 people. Everyone from our department wore something orange, his favorite color. Even now at work, those closest to him continue to wear an orange ribbon on our shirts.

Jonah always, no matter what took the time to listen to your burdens. I honestly feel that he didn't want to add to those burdens. I believe he was either scared, or ashamed that he couldn't handle this on his own, like he thought he could. Please, I beg you all reach out, go to counseling, get help. People are more willing to listen then you might realize and the hurt you leave behind is so much greater then you can imagine.

His family did take the time to share this letter publicly on his Facebook page:

An open letter from the Blackwell family... 

Exactly one week ago today our son Jonah took his own life. We've endured the initial shock and the overwhelming sadness with the help of our faith in God, our family, our friends and the good people of the Coppell community. We take comfort in knowing that Jonah is with God in Heaven and that we'll see him again one day. This week we've learned of the incredible impact Jonah had, and continues to have, on those around him. We thank you for the stories you have shared with us - and are proud and thankful for his time here on earth.  

While we continue our journey through the grieving process, we have been unimaginably blessed with the support of the Coppell Band, Cross Country Team, Silver Spurs, Football Team, CHS and CISD Administration, Great Wolf Lodge, Valley Ranch Baptist Church, the Coppell community, our neighboring communities, as well as comforting words and uplifting prayers from strangers across many states. This support has, and continues to be, an inspiration that has filled our hearts with humble gratitude. We can't begin to find words to thank everyone! 

Suicide is heartbreaking for so many people beyond the immediate family and often people do not know what to say or do. We have learned of a local chapter of (AFSP) American Foundation for Suicide Prevention that provides suicide prevention education as well as resources for healing when there is a loss. This website has a Surviving Suicide Loss Booklet that can be downloaded: http://www.afsp.org/ Additionally, there is mention of the “Out of the Darkness Walk” that will take place on November 10, in Dallas.http://afsp.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.event&eventID=1796
Nothing will bring Jonah back to us physically; however we can hope and pray that this tragedy will make an impact and change others’ lives for the better. Jonah would want us to help one another. We want to honor Jonah’s memory as we find our way to walk the path that lies ahead. Our prayers also continue to be lifted up for the Logan family. Stay Strong Coppell. 

Sincerely,
Greg, Caroline, Clint and Gracie Blackwell

My thoughts and prayers go out to Jonah’s coworkers, his siblings, and friends. This much I can promise, R.I.S.E. will not forget Jonah Blackwell.

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