Today’s discussion is super intense. It’s a very hard issue that a lot of victims often find they are unable to speak about. To them, this is beyond humiliating and can make them fall into a whole new level of shame and depression. I’m talking about the victims that suffered through acts of bestiality.
Bestiality, for those that don’t know, is the act of having sexual relations between a person and an animal. It is also known under other names such as zoophilia and zoosexuality. Statistics on the subject are basically non-existent due to lack of victims willing to some forward. The overall consensus is that if one is a victim of rape via bestiality at the hands of their rapists, then the laws against such should be waved since it was against their will and completely without their consent. It’s always best though to ask a law for your state if you decide to press charges on your rapists. Also, rapists could be charged with animal cruelty by forcing acts of bestiality on victims as well, if that state considers it an illegal act.
“In many jurisdictions, all forms of zoosexual acts are prohibited; others outlaw only the mistreatment of animals, without specific mention of sexual activity. In some countries, such as Denmark, bestiality is not outlawed. It is currently illegal in Canada, Netherlands, 32 U.S. states.”
Here are some recent news stories on the subject:
Mum blames daughter's rape on bestiality
Ark. Man Confesses To Child Rape, Bestiality
Child Rape & Bestiality Arrest
Whether this has become a more common issue, or women finally feel they are able to speak about it, I’ve found a growing number of victims have began to come out about the bestiality that was forced on them by their rapist. Unfortunately, it’s been introduced more frequently in counseling groups and therapists offices than in courtrooms. Everyone, from 5-year-olds to grown adults, have suffered at the hands of their rapist who indulge in bestiality fetishes.
The Humane Society and the Vermont Animal Cruelty task force put together a great fact sheet of information on abuse of people and animals, here are some prevalent statistics on the subject (to read more click the link at the end of the blog):
“Although there has been little research to date on animal sexual abuse and its perpetrators, case reports and anecdotal accounts indicate that men are the primary abusers, although women and children may be forced or coerced into sexual acts with animals or may be abusers themselves. Reports indicate a wide age range of abusers. Abusers may feel isolated, insecure, and powerless. They may have difficulty in forming healthy interpersonal relationships with other adult humans and may have experienced neglect, physical abuse or sexual abuse as a child. Some may suffer from mental illness. In a study published in the International Journal of Psychosomatics (Alvarez & Freinhar, 1991), psychiatric patients exhibited a significantly higher prevalence rate (55%) of bestiality than control groups of medical inpatients (10%) and psychiatric staff members (15%).
Batterers, rapists and pornographers may force women, children, and other vulnerable individuals to have sex with animals in order to humiliate, dominate, control, and exploit the human and animal victims. Children who have been sexually abused may act out their abuse on animals in an attempt to gain a sense of control. Some people may derive sexual gratification from the pain and suffering inflicted while sexually abusing animals. This type of sadistic sexual abuser will probably injure or kill the animal.
The sexual abuse of animals is often linked to the sexual abuse of women and children (Kowal, 1998). This form of domestic violence involves the use of animals for degradation and sexual exploitation of the battered partner. According to Lenore Walker (1979), bestiality may be a part of further tormenting and humiliating the victim. In Walker’s (1984) interviews with battered women, bestiality was mentioned as one of the “unusual sex acts” desired by their partners. In a test group made up of women who had past relationships with battering and nonbattering partners, it was found that this experience occurred with 41% of the battering partners and 5% of the non-battering partners. Child sexual abusers may also exually abuse animals to enhance, expand or extend the abuse of the genuinely powerless and unsuspecting victim (Adams, 1994). Some case studies of sexual abuse of children include reports of forcing children to interact sexually with animals (Ascione, 1993). A child’s sexual abuse of an animal may be a warning sign that the child is a victim or witness of physical, sexual or emotional abuse. Research also indicates a connection between animal sexual abuse and other types of violent crimes. According to a 1986 study, forty percent of the perpetrators of sexually motivated homicides who had been sexually abused as children also reported that they had sexually abused animals (Ressler, et al. 1986).”
If you’ve read my story in past blogs here, you know that I’ve been a victim of bestiality myself. I’ve known survivors that have been kind enough to share their own stories with me as well. If you take nothing else from this blog, I want you to take this: You are not alone. No matter how awful and ashamed these events make you feel, it was not your fault. You did not ask for this. Also, if you’re a victim of abuse and you’ve started taking it out on your pets, please I urge you to seek help. It’s never too late.
You never know what others have suffered. I never came to grips with what happened to me till I was finally able to say it out loud. It took a long time, a lot of work, and an unwavering trust in someone not to judge me. If you don’t feel like you have that in your friends or family, I urge you to seek the help of a professional counselor. They are there to help you deal with things like this. Please don’t suffer in silence any longer. Don’t give your abuser that power any longer.
Info on legal stats
Vermont Animal Cruelty Task Force
Check out more about R.I.S.E. at any of the following:
Website: avoiceforheather.tripod.com
Myspace: myspace.com/avoiceforheather
Blog: avoiceforheather.blogspot.com
Facebook:www.facebook.com/avoiceforheather
Twitter: www.twitter.com/VoiceforHeather
Email: VoiceforHeather@yahoo.com
R.I.S.E. (Rape Incest & Suicide Education) You Are Not Alone!
Monday, August 8, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
SAFER Petition
A group on facebook called TeamStrick has sent R.I.S.E. a petition that I feel very strongly towards, and I would like to share it with you today.
KaDee Strickland and RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) came together to form TeamStrick, a non-profit organization that dedicated to raising money and awareness for RAINN. It was inspired by the actress and advocate KaDee Strickland.
KaDee’s best known for her film roles in The Grudge and Fever Pitch, along with her minor roles in The Sixith Sense, Anything Else, and Something’s Gotta Give. She’s also been known to be drawn towards strong female roles to avoid sexualizing or sensationalizing her self-presentation as a woman.
The petition TeamStrick is asking people to sign is called the SAFER Act to End Rape Kit Backlog. What does this mean? Well I’d tell you, but the petition pretty much speaks for itself.
“The SAFER Act, H.R. 1523, is a no-cost bill that will lead to the elimination of the DNA backlog of evidence collected in rape cases (commonly known as rape kits). Currently, there is a tremendous backlog of DNA evidence from unsolved rape cases that has never been sent to the lab for analysis. Until we test this evidence and identify the rapists, those criminals remain free to attack more victims.
The SAFER Act will establish better standards for future tracking, storage, and use of DNA evidence in sexual assault cases, and create the Sexual Assault Forensic Evidence Registry (SAFER), which will track the status of DNA evidence collected in rape cases. The registry will allow victims to monitor the progress of forensic evidence in their own case using a non-personally identifying ID number online, anytime.
The SAFER Act will bring transparency to the testing process, help us efficiently target resources to areas that have the biggest backlogs, and empower survivors with up-to-the-minute info about the status of their case. It will also inform law enforcement and the public about the extent of the DNA backlog throughout the country.
The SAFER Act will increase the efficiency of the criminal justice system by more effectively targeting areas with the most significant backlogs, while making the entire process transparent to the public. Processing this evidence from rape cases quickly will help to ensure justice for survivors of this violent crime by taking rapists off the streets, and create safer communities.
The bill has strong bipartisan support, and RAINN is optimistic that it will move quickly through the U.S Congress with your help! Contact your U.S. Representative today to express your support for the SAFER Act, H.R. 1523.”
Our founder, Kylie, found some great information about these rape kits. The following is from our R.I.S.E. facebook discussion page:
"A rape kit consists of small boxes, microscope slides, and plastic bags for collecting and storing evidence such as clothing fibers, hairs, saliva, semen or body fluid, which may help identify a rape survivor's attacker for use in prosecution. The process of collecting the evidence for the kit takes hours.
Although a rape kit's contents may vary by location, it may include:
* Instructions
* Bags and sheets for evidence collection
* Swabs for collecting fluids from the lips, cheeks, thighs, vagina, anus, and buttocks
* Blood collection devices
* Comb used to collect hair and fiber from the victim’s body
* Clear glass slides
* Envelopes for preserving the victim’s clothes, head hair, pubic hair, and blood samples
* Nail pick for scraping debris from beneath the nails
* White sheets to catch physical evidence stripped from the body
* Documentation forms
* Labels
In the United States, rape kit costs, availability, proper implementation of the invasive exam, and backlogs have historically presented problems for survivors of rape seeking justice.
As of May 2009, the federal Violence Against Women Act of 2005 went into effect, requiring state governments who wish to continue receiving federal funding to pay for "Jane Doe rape kits" or, "anonymous rape tests", which allows victims too traumatized to go to the police to undergo the procedure at hospitals, which will maintain the collected evidence in a sealed envelope identified only by a number, unless police access its contents upon the victim's decision to press charges. While the practice had been recommended by the Federal Bureau of Investigation since at least 1999, and was already followed at some health clinics, colleges and hospitals, and in the state of Massachusetts, many jurisdictions up until then refused to pay the estimated $800 cost of the rape examination without a police report filed by the victim."
(See our discussion page for more interesting and sad statistics about rape kits state-by-state)
I think the ability to track your own case and get that up-to-the-minute info on it, to me, makes this worth signing. Think of how much emotional anxiety this will relieve so these victims can begin to heal faster. Not to mention this might not only solve some cases, but might mean more offenders are brought to justice, a huge load off any victims back. Now this can’t do much for the people that don’t report their rape, but if people start seeing even a slight improvement with these changes in the justice system, they might just be willing to come forward more often.
If you believe this is a good idea, please click the link below and sign the petition. No changes come from those who take no action.
SAFER Petition
Check out more about TeamStrick at:
http://teamstrick.org
http://twitter.com/TeamStrick
Check out more about R.I.S.E. at any of the following:
Website: avoiceforheather.tripod.com
Myspace: myspace.com/avoiceforheather
Blog: avoiceforheather.blogspot.com
Facebook:www.facebook.com/avoiceforheather
Twitter: www.twitter.com/VoiceforHeather
Email: VoiceforHeather@yahoo.com
KaDee Strickland and RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) came together to form TeamStrick, a non-profit organization that dedicated to raising money and awareness for RAINN. It was inspired by the actress and advocate KaDee Strickland.
KaDee’s best known for her film roles in The Grudge and Fever Pitch, along with her minor roles in The Sixith Sense, Anything Else, and Something’s Gotta Give. She’s also been known to be drawn towards strong female roles to avoid sexualizing or sensationalizing her self-presentation as a woman.
The petition TeamStrick is asking people to sign is called the SAFER Act to End Rape Kit Backlog. What does this mean? Well I’d tell you, but the petition pretty much speaks for itself.
“The SAFER Act, H.R. 1523, is a no-cost bill that will lead to the elimination of the DNA backlog of evidence collected in rape cases (commonly known as rape kits). Currently, there is a tremendous backlog of DNA evidence from unsolved rape cases that has never been sent to the lab for analysis. Until we test this evidence and identify the rapists, those criminals remain free to attack more victims.
The SAFER Act will establish better standards for future tracking, storage, and use of DNA evidence in sexual assault cases, and create the Sexual Assault Forensic Evidence Registry (SAFER), which will track the status of DNA evidence collected in rape cases. The registry will allow victims to monitor the progress of forensic evidence in their own case using a non-personally identifying ID number online, anytime.
The SAFER Act will bring transparency to the testing process, help us efficiently target resources to areas that have the biggest backlogs, and empower survivors with up-to-the-minute info about the status of their case. It will also inform law enforcement and the public about the extent of the DNA backlog throughout the country.
The SAFER Act will increase the efficiency of the criminal justice system by more effectively targeting areas with the most significant backlogs, while making the entire process transparent to the public. Processing this evidence from rape cases quickly will help to ensure justice for survivors of this violent crime by taking rapists off the streets, and create safer communities.
The bill has strong bipartisan support, and RAINN is optimistic that it will move quickly through the U.S Congress with your help! Contact your U.S. Representative today to express your support for the SAFER Act, H.R. 1523.”
Our founder, Kylie, found some great information about these rape kits. The following is from our R.I.S.E. facebook discussion page:
"A rape kit consists of small boxes, microscope slides, and plastic bags for collecting and storing evidence such as clothing fibers, hairs, saliva, semen or body fluid, which may help identify a rape survivor's attacker for use in prosecution. The process of collecting the evidence for the kit takes hours.
Although a rape kit's contents may vary by location, it may include:
* Instructions
* Bags and sheets for evidence collection
* Swabs for collecting fluids from the lips, cheeks, thighs, vagina, anus, and buttocks
* Blood collection devices
* Comb used to collect hair and fiber from the victim’s body
* Clear glass slides
* Envelopes for preserving the victim’s clothes, head hair, pubic hair, and blood samples
* Nail pick for scraping debris from beneath the nails
* White sheets to catch physical evidence stripped from the body
* Documentation forms
* Labels
In the United States, rape kit costs, availability, proper implementation of the invasive exam, and backlogs have historically presented problems for survivors of rape seeking justice.
As of May 2009, the federal Violence Against Women Act of 2005 went into effect, requiring state governments who wish to continue receiving federal funding to pay for "Jane Doe rape kits" or, "anonymous rape tests", which allows victims too traumatized to go to the police to undergo the procedure at hospitals, which will maintain the collected evidence in a sealed envelope identified only by a number, unless police access its contents upon the victim's decision to press charges. While the practice had been recommended by the Federal Bureau of Investigation since at least 1999, and was already followed at some health clinics, colleges and hospitals, and in the state of Massachusetts, many jurisdictions up until then refused to pay the estimated $800 cost of the rape examination without a police report filed by the victim."
(See our discussion page for more interesting and sad statistics about rape kits state-by-state)
I think the ability to track your own case and get that up-to-the-minute info on it, to me, makes this worth signing. Think of how much emotional anxiety this will relieve so these victims can begin to heal faster. Not to mention this might not only solve some cases, but might mean more offenders are brought to justice, a huge load off any victims back. Now this can’t do much for the people that don’t report their rape, but if people start seeing even a slight improvement with these changes in the justice system, they might just be willing to come forward more often.
If you believe this is a good idea, please click the link below and sign the petition. No changes come from those who take no action.
SAFER Petition
Check out more about TeamStrick at:
http://teamstrick.org
http://twitter.com/TeamStrick
Check out more about R.I.S.E. at any of the following:
Website: avoiceforheather.tripod.com
Myspace: myspace.com/avoiceforheather
Blog: avoiceforheather.blogspot.com
Facebook:www.facebook.com/avoiceforheather
Twitter: www.twitter.com/VoiceforHeather
Email: VoiceforHeather@yahoo.com
Monday, June 6, 2011
Guilt & Shame, Victim & Survivor
I’m back! My laptop has been in the shop for about a month now, but it’s fixed and ready for new blogs. I decided to ease back into it by discussing the idea of Shame vs. Guilt and Victim vs. a Survivor.
Many times as victims, we are unable to distinguish these ideas, making our recovery process more than just confusing. A counselor of mine broke it down into two terms.
Guilt leaves room for making amends, and you often are the one to put it upon yourself. We often take responsibility for what happened to us and place guilt on our 'mistakes,' even if we truly weren't the ones that caused the issue to start with. This is completely unrealistic of us. Often we do this because we think blaming someone, even if it’s ourselves, will give us some sense of peace. We might not believe we can ‘rightly’ blame the perpetrator, or we think they will deny it, so we place the guilt upon ourselves in stead of where it should be.
Shame is put upon you by others, and is often considered the reaction of a perceived audience. We feel shame in how we think others will view us if they know the truth. We feel like we will be rejected, or disowned, when that’s usually not the case. Rape has become a very open part of our culture to discuss. You’d be surprised to find how many of your friends and neighbors have already heard of someone else’s story, or have their own story buried in the past. We should not feel shame for what was done to us without our consent.
Of course changing these mindsets, releasing your shame and guilt, is what makes you no longer a victim, but a survivor.
A victim is defined as “a person that suffers harm or death,” and a survivor “is a person that survives in spite of adversity.” Kylie said it best when she said “A victim lets their life be defined and darkened by what happened to them, and a survivor lets what has happened strengthen them and drive them on to help others. Don't be a victim. Be a survivor.”
Once, when I was struggling to understand this difference myself, I came across these words in a Shelter from the Storm activity book: “The ultimate goal of the victim is that they must let go of responsibility for the abuse, and acknowledge that responsibility for the abuse belongs to the person who committed the abuse."
See why understanding what guilt and shame do to you are so important?
I know all of this is so much easier said than done, and honestly sometimes this will take years for you to truly grasp and understand, but sometimes it's good to just know that there is a goal for you in recovery. You now have something to aim for, something to help pull you out of that depression you become stuck in, and truly begin to recover your soul.
Check out more about R.I.S.E. at any of the following:
Website: avoiceforheather.tripod.com
Myspace: myspace.com/avoiceforheather
Blog: avoiceforheather.blogspot.com
Facebook:www.facebook.com/avoiceforheather
Twitter: www.twitter.com/VoiceforHeather
Email: VoiceforHeather@yahoo.com
Many times as victims, we are unable to distinguish these ideas, making our recovery process more than just confusing. A counselor of mine broke it down into two terms.
Guilt leaves room for making amends, and you often are the one to put it upon yourself. We often take responsibility for what happened to us and place guilt on our 'mistakes,' even if we truly weren't the ones that caused the issue to start with. This is completely unrealistic of us. Often we do this because we think blaming someone, even if it’s ourselves, will give us some sense of peace. We might not believe we can ‘rightly’ blame the perpetrator, or we think they will deny it, so we place the guilt upon ourselves in stead of where it should be.
Shame is put upon you by others, and is often considered the reaction of a perceived audience. We feel shame in how we think others will view us if they know the truth. We feel like we will be rejected, or disowned, when that’s usually not the case. Rape has become a very open part of our culture to discuss. You’d be surprised to find how many of your friends and neighbors have already heard of someone else’s story, or have their own story buried in the past. We should not feel shame for what was done to us without our consent.
Of course changing these mindsets, releasing your shame and guilt, is what makes you no longer a victim, but a survivor.
A victim is defined as “a person that suffers harm or death,” and a survivor “is a person that survives in spite of adversity.” Kylie said it best when she said “A victim lets their life be defined and darkened by what happened to them, and a survivor lets what has happened strengthen them and drive them on to help others. Don't be a victim. Be a survivor.”
Once, when I was struggling to understand this difference myself, I came across these words in a Shelter from the Storm activity book: “The ultimate goal of the victim is that they must let go of responsibility for the abuse, and acknowledge that responsibility for the abuse belongs to the person who committed the abuse."
See why understanding what guilt and shame do to you are so important?
I know all of this is so much easier said than done, and honestly sometimes this will take years for you to truly grasp and understand, but sometimes it's good to just know that there is a goal for you in recovery. You now have something to aim for, something to help pull you out of that depression you become stuck in, and truly begin to recover your soul.
Check out more about R.I.S.E. at any of the following:
Website: avoiceforheather.tripod.com
Myspace: myspace.com/avoiceforheather
Blog: avoiceforheather.blogspot.com
Facebook:www.facebook.com/avoiceforheather
Twitter: www.twitter.com/VoiceforHeather
Email: VoiceforHeather@yahoo.com
Monday, May 2, 2011
Dreamcatchers For Abused Children
I’ve mentioned before that a woman named Sandra helped me get RISE started. I’d like to take a minute to tell you about her organization, Dreamcatchers For Abused Children. The name is pretty straight forward, letting you know right away that this organization focuses solely on child abuse. If you want to know the latest news updates on cases of child abuse, DFAC will provide you with that. There are also plenty of resources for concerned parents as well as victims on their website.
Not only has RISE grown since it’s birth in 2008, but DFAC has grown tremendously as well. It has thousands of participants nationwide, and has become a certified organization. They even came up with their own acronym, to describe their vision for DFAC. Here it is:
D edicating our time & devotion to helping children.
R ealizing every child has a right to be loved & safe.
E ncouraging & developing a sense of hope.
A llowing time to heal, develop & overcome fears.
M otivating & empowering victims to become survivors.
C aring, nurturing and understanding.
A wareness & education is the KEY to prevention.
T eaching children to lead healthy, productive lives.
C herishing all children equally.
H elping to make a difference in a child's life.
E ducating the public on child abuse.
R aising our voices for the voiceless.
S haring our power with the powerless.
While Dreamcatchers For Abused Children is much bigger and more popular than RISE, I still wanted to share a little bit about this group with you because it did play a big role in the creation of RISE. In fact, before I was President of RISE, I was the Kentucky Representative for Dreamcatchers For Abused Children. Due to lack of funding and resources because of the small town I lived in, I was unable to raise money for DFAC, so I decided to create my own cause in stead, one that didn't focus as much on money as spreading the word and healing. Sandra, the Founder of Dreamcatchers For Abused Children, was not offended by my decision, but in stead she was very helpful and supportive.
While Dreamcatchers For Abused Children only focuses on child abuse, a big part of child abuse in incest, which is one of the things RISE focuses on. If you or someone you know needs help in this area, if you have been a victim or the parent of a victim, or if you simply want to support the cause, please visit Dreamcatchers For Abused Children at the links listed below.
www.facebook.com/dreamcatchersforabusedchildren
www.dreamcatchersforabusedchildren.com
www.youtube.com/user/abusedchildren
www.twitter.com/abusedchildren
www.myspace.com/abused_children
www.myspace.com/childabuseproject
-Kylie [AKA Ragdoll Mender]
R.I.S.E. Founder/President
Not only has RISE grown since it’s birth in 2008, but DFAC has grown tremendously as well. It has thousands of participants nationwide, and has become a certified organization. They even came up with their own acronym, to describe their vision for DFAC. Here it is:
D edicating our time & devotion to helping children.
R ealizing every child has a right to be loved & safe.
E ncouraging & developing a sense of hope.
A llowing time to heal, develop & overcome fears.
M otivating & empowering victims to become survivors.
C aring, nurturing and understanding.
A wareness & education is the KEY to prevention.
T eaching children to lead healthy, productive lives.
C herishing all children equally.
H elping to make a difference in a child's life.
E ducating the public on child abuse.
R aising our voices for the voiceless.
S haring our power with the powerless.
While Dreamcatchers For Abused Children is much bigger and more popular than RISE, I still wanted to share a little bit about this group with you because it did play a big role in the creation of RISE. In fact, before I was President of RISE, I was the Kentucky Representative for Dreamcatchers For Abused Children. Due to lack of funding and resources because of the small town I lived in, I was unable to raise money for DFAC, so I decided to create my own cause in stead, one that didn't focus as much on money as spreading the word and healing. Sandra, the Founder of Dreamcatchers For Abused Children, was not offended by my decision, but in stead she was very helpful and supportive.
While Dreamcatchers For Abused Children only focuses on child abuse, a big part of child abuse in incest, which is one of the things RISE focuses on. If you or someone you know needs help in this area, if you have been a victim or the parent of a victim, or if you simply want to support the cause, please visit Dreamcatchers For Abused Children at the links listed below.
www.facebook.com/dreamcatchersforabusedchildren
www.dreamcatchersforabusedchildren.com
www.youtube.com/user/abusedchildren
www.twitter.com/abusedchildren
www.myspace.com/abused_children
www.myspace.com/childabuseproject
-Kylie [AKA Ragdoll Mender]
R.I.S.E. Founder/President
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Take Back the Night 2011, TWU
As many of our members know, I went to Texas Woman’s University on April 11th, 2011 for their annual Take Back the Night rally.
For those who don't know, Take Back the Night was started in Philadelphia in October of 1975. According the the website history, the citizens of Philadelphia came together after the murder of young microbiologist, Susan Alexander Speeth, was stabbed by a stranger a block from her home while walking alone.
“Take Back The Night’s supporters have always understood the power of speaking out. Rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse and domestic violence are often labeled “crimes of silence” because of low reporting rates and social discomfort with their public discussion.”
TBTN has a foundation called Shatter the Silence, where victims can post and share their own stories. They also sell shirts, posters, whatever you might need for your own TBTN event. They even offer legal help and information on how to organize your own TBTN in your area.
TWU’s event was held by a group called Project Rev (short for revolution), “is a federal grant-funded program that provides resources for victims of the following crimes: dating or domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking. “
Project Rev had set up several booths that provided counseling services, medical health services, poster making stations, and free food and drinks. They had several speakers come forward and lay out the statistics and myths of sexual abuse crimes, really managing to hit home why this was such a big deal to speak out about. They then had everyone make one huge group to shout several TBTN rally chants as they marched through campus. The final and most meaningful part to me was when they turned the stage over to the victims and let them speak.
They carefully set up two microphones. One was labeled media, which meant if you picked that one to speak, your story would be recorded and played on the news. If you chose the other, it was shared only with the group present. It was a very touching and emotional moment as one by one survivors came forward and shared not only their story, but how they were healing. I spoke briefly about R.I.S.E. and I also shared over 30 fliers in that one night.
When it was over, I stood gathering my stuff, and a man approached me. He shook my hand and thanked me for sharing my story. My speech had been about those that had yet to come forward and how the members of R.I.S.E. where there to speak for them. I wanted people to walk away knowing that we cared even if they never had the courage to step forward. As I shook that man’s hand, a knowledge passed between him and me; I stared directly into his eyes, and knew that he had been a victim too. I don’t think he’d ever shared his story, except to maybe one or two close friends, but in that moment I knew there was so much more he wanted to say, but right then that was all he had.
To the man that shook my hand, I want to say thank you. You are the reason I do this, the fact that it touched you is more than I could ever ask for. I hope we meet again, and maybe talk one day, but if we don’t, I certainly will never forget you, or your unspoken story.
All in all, a very touching and powerfully inspiring night. Below, I’ve included links to the TBTN website, Project Rev, a news article/video of the night (I’m at 0:30 seconds with the cane), and a couple of photos from the march...
Take Back the Night: http://www.takebackthenight.org/index.html
Project Rev: http://www.twu.edu/project-rev/
CBS DFW News: http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2011/04/11/hundreds-march-to-take-back-the-night-at-twu/
For those who don't know, Take Back the Night was started in Philadelphia in October of 1975. According the the website history, the citizens of Philadelphia came together after the murder of young microbiologist, Susan Alexander Speeth, was stabbed by a stranger a block from her home while walking alone.
“Take Back The Night’s supporters have always understood the power of speaking out. Rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse and domestic violence are often labeled “crimes of silence” because of low reporting rates and social discomfort with their public discussion.”
TBTN has a foundation called Shatter the Silence, where victims can post and share their own stories. They also sell shirts, posters, whatever you might need for your own TBTN event. They even offer legal help and information on how to organize your own TBTN in your area.
TWU’s event was held by a group called Project Rev (short for revolution), “is a federal grant-funded program that provides resources for victims of the following crimes: dating or domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking. “
Project Rev had set up several booths that provided counseling services, medical health services, poster making stations, and free food and drinks. They had several speakers come forward and lay out the statistics and myths of sexual abuse crimes, really managing to hit home why this was such a big deal to speak out about. They then had everyone make one huge group to shout several TBTN rally chants as they marched through campus. The final and most meaningful part to me was when they turned the stage over to the victims and let them speak.
They carefully set up two microphones. One was labeled media, which meant if you picked that one to speak, your story would be recorded and played on the news. If you chose the other, it was shared only with the group present. It was a very touching and emotional moment as one by one survivors came forward and shared not only their story, but how they were healing. I spoke briefly about R.I.S.E. and I also shared over 30 fliers in that one night.
When it was over, I stood gathering my stuff, and a man approached me. He shook my hand and thanked me for sharing my story. My speech had been about those that had yet to come forward and how the members of R.I.S.E. where there to speak for them. I wanted people to walk away knowing that we cared even if they never had the courage to step forward. As I shook that man’s hand, a knowledge passed between him and me; I stared directly into his eyes, and knew that he had been a victim too. I don’t think he’d ever shared his story, except to maybe one or two close friends, but in that moment I knew there was so much more he wanted to say, but right then that was all he had.
To the man that shook my hand, I want to say thank you. You are the reason I do this, the fact that it touched you is more than I could ever ask for. I hope we meet again, and maybe talk one day, but if we don’t, I certainly will never forget you, or your unspoken story.
All in all, a very touching and powerfully inspiring night. Below, I’ve included links to the TBTN website, Project Rev, a news article/video of the night (I’m at 0:30 seconds with the cane), and a couple of photos from the march...
Take Back the Night: http://www.takebackthenight.org/index.html
Project Rev: http://www.twu.edu/project-rev/
CBS DFW News: http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2011/04/11/hundreds-march-to-take-back-the-night-at-twu/
Free Love
This past Monday was Free Love Day, started by a man named Justin Murray. I could explain it, but in this case, I think letting you read his story makes it a bit more meaningful, so here:
“Free Love Day is a day to promote awareness of suicide and depression, as well as to advocate a LIFESTYLE of unconditional love.
My high school crush was a blond-haired, blue-eyed descendant of Heaven with perfect looks, grades, and people skills. She was a person's person, and would do anything to brighten your day. On April 25, 2007 she committed suicide after battling depression; this left a family, school and community broken. And it left me broken, too. I wondered, and still wonder, what I could have done to make her life better.
Here are the facts: depression is one of the leading conditions that lead to suicide. Suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the United States. Statistically, for every suicide there are ELEVEN attempts. And the truth is that we don't know who wants to, will try to, or will take their life.
What's the answer to this? Love is one. Here, love means an action and decision to unconditionally practice patience, kindness, and humbleness towards people. Sharing your story with people, because we all have one. To open up so no one feels alone.
SO HERE'S THE DEAL: On April 25th, put a heart on your wrist to signify that you will wear your heart on your sleeve and observe a LIFESTYLE of love. ASK SOMEONE HOW THEY'RE DOING. TELL PEOPLE YOU LOVE THEM AND DO IT. Nobody should have to feel so bad about themselves that they take their own life, so let's give them a reason not to! Let's change the world on April 25th!
If you accept this challenge, pass it on; let's make this day as big as we can.”
I want to take this moment to send my sympathies to Justin and to every single person who has lost someone to suicide. I personally have lost my grandpa to suicide, and basically my Dad too. I participated in the Free Love Day event, drawing my own heart on my wrist, which for some reason everyone thought was a new tattoo. Maybe I will make it permanent eventually.
I’d like to encourage those of you that missed out to consider this; I believe we should do this every day, not just on April 25th. It gets people's attention, and when they ask you about it, not only can you share the message above from Justin, but you can also explain why it matters to R.I.S.E. and therefore, spread the message of it as well. The new R.I.S.E. logo is a heart with wings, so it's easy now. Two birds with one stone...
So are you going to spread the message?
“Free Love Day is a day to promote awareness of suicide and depression, as well as to advocate a LIFESTYLE of unconditional love.
My high school crush was a blond-haired, blue-eyed descendant of Heaven with perfect looks, grades, and people skills. She was a person's person, and would do anything to brighten your day. On April 25, 2007 she committed suicide after battling depression; this left a family, school and community broken. And it left me broken, too. I wondered, and still wonder, what I could have done to make her life better.
Here are the facts: depression is one of the leading conditions that lead to suicide. Suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the United States. Statistically, for every suicide there are ELEVEN attempts. And the truth is that we don't know who wants to, will try to, or will take their life.
What's the answer to this? Love is one. Here, love means an action and decision to unconditionally practice patience, kindness, and humbleness towards people. Sharing your story with people, because we all have one. To open up so no one feels alone.
SO HERE'S THE DEAL: On April 25th, put a heart on your wrist to signify that you will wear your heart on your sleeve and observe a LIFESTYLE of love. ASK SOMEONE HOW THEY'RE DOING. TELL PEOPLE YOU LOVE THEM AND DO IT. Nobody should have to feel so bad about themselves that they take their own life, so let's give them a reason not to! Let's change the world on April 25th!
If you accept this challenge, pass it on; let's make this day as big as we can.”
I want to take this moment to send my sympathies to Justin and to every single person who has lost someone to suicide. I personally have lost my grandpa to suicide, and basically my Dad too. I participated in the Free Love Day event, drawing my own heart on my wrist, which for some reason everyone thought was a new tattoo. Maybe I will make it permanent eventually.
I’d like to encourage those of you that missed out to consider this; I believe we should do this every day, not just on April 25th. It gets people's attention, and when they ask you about it, not only can you share the message above from Justin, but you can also explain why it matters to R.I.S.E. and therefore, spread the message of it as well. The new R.I.S.E. logo is a heart with wings, so it's easy now. Two birds with one stone...
So are you going to spread the message?
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Why did I?
In response to my last blog post about the history of R.I.S.E. I feel compelled to share my own story, and explain why I became so involved in the group and wanted to help out so badly.
When I was a child, I was raped by my cousin for 2 years. It didn't start out as rape, it started out as mutual sexual intercourse, but I had no clue what was going on, and he took advantage of that. As soon as my childish brain could grasp what was going on, I demanded he stop, and he refused. I was introduced to some very twisted things, where pain and pleasure went hand in hand.
SOME OF THE FOLLOWING WILL BE GRAPHIC:
I'm going to tell you some of the worst of it here, because I want victims reading this, who have experienced these same things, to know THEY ARE NOT ALONE. It is awful, but you can live through it and come out on the other side, alive.
My cousin was slightly younger then me, but he was bigger, stronger, and much smarter then me. He tied me up, gagged me, pretended to rape me as a child, preformed bestiality on me with the help of his dogs, and caused me much more pain, just to hear me scream. Anything that caused me pain turned him on. Finally, he found ways to make me enjoy the sex because my body is still only human. Despite everything, I believe that was the was worst part, because I wanted nothing pleasurable from him.
(END OF GRAPHIC PART)
He was a very sick and twisted individual. But despite what was done to me, I can now look at him and say I pity him. Someone somewhere taught him these things, maybe even did these things to him too. Control and power were huge deals to him, and I'm pretty sure he was victim himself, but he took a much more negative path then I ever did. I cared only about the others. He admitted in sheer perverse pleasure that while I was being abused he was also raping at least 5 other girls at the same time. I cried for them, wondering what became of them. Did they die? Did they recover? How could I find them and tell them they weren't alone?
One day, I found out my abuser was caught kissing a child I babysat. I was sure he was setting things up to make her his next victim, and I decided to speak out. It was one thing to hurt me, but not the babies. I came forward to my family, who all but rejected me, unable to believe someone so young could commit terrible acts like that, especially since he was family. Rejected, I was left to deal with this on my own, reading, studying, doing everything I could to learn how to get over it. I read somewhere that in the state of Texas, if it is a minor-on-minor case, the oldest is at fault. This meant I could never take my attack to trial.
Angry and hurt that both my parents and the courts were against me, I shoved my feelings in and went into a sort of numb shock for many years. When I was 18, I reinvested myself in recovery, unable to bear the silence any longer. I began checking out support groups, forcing myself into therapy. In my groups, I was the youngest person to attempt recovery, most waiting until their early 30's before trying to heal. This baffled me. I did not want to go the rest of my life carrying this weight.
I found R.I.S.E. while scoping out other sexual abuse groups online, and it caught my interest because it not only covered all three aspects I struggled with, but it specifically covered incest. I was tired of this fact being swept under the rug by most groups, and I wanted to prove how grateful I was that someone 'finally' was taking notice. I made few music videos and pictures for R.I.S.E., but I wanted to do more. Facebook was just taking off so I offered to make them a group page, which later turned into me making this blog and a twitter account.
I spread the message of R.I.S.E. everywhere - emails, signatures, phone calls, my support groups, where ever I could. I eventually asked the founder, Kylie, if I could become the spokesperson for R.I.S.E., and she agreed.
I love this group and the people in it with all my heart. But mostly, I want R.I.S.E. to touch the people that have never come out with their stories. I want it to reach those five girls who's names I never knew. I want it to reach people like that 11 year old that was gang raped everyone supported her rapist. I want it to touch them and tell them we are here for you, we want to help you heal, you are not alone.
I want to help R.I.S.E. go nationwide. I want it to be a name that you can just say, and people automatically know what you're talking about. I want there to be more walks, more chants, more counseling groups, and centers available for people suffering from all, or one, of these issues. I want to go from college to college spreading the work of R.I.S.E. And finally, I want to make it okay to go into high schools and tell them where to find the help they need to recover, because that's the time many kids are getting hurt and suffering, because most people won't speak up about these issues at such a young age.
I hope you will help us get R.I.S.E. there. I hope you want to help break this silence, and prevent other from suffering alone like we did. I hope you want to be that hand offering help, like we do. Join us in spreading the message. Together, we are never alone!
-Rindi
Check out more about R.I.S.E. at any of the following:
Website: avoiceforheather.tripod.com
Myspace: myspace.com/avoiceforheather
Blog: avoiceforheather.blogspot.com
Facebook:www.facebook.com/avoiceforheather
Twitter: www.twitter.com/VoiceforHeather
Email: VoiceforHeather@yahoo.com
When I was a child, I was raped by my cousin for 2 years. It didn't start out as rape, it started out as mutual sexual intercourse, but I had no clue what was going on, and he took advantage of that. As soon as my childish brain could grasp what was going on, I demanded he stop, and he refused. I was introduced to some very twisted things, where pain and pleasure went hand in hand.
SOME OF THE FOLLOWING WILL BE GRAPHIC:
I'm going to tell you some of the worst of it here, because I want victims reading this, who have experienced these same things, to know THEY ARE NOT ALONE. It is awful, but you can live through it and come out on the other side, alive.
My cousin was slightly younger then me, but he was bigger, stronger, and much smarter then me. He tied me up, gagged me, pretended to rape me as a child, preformed bestiality on me with the help of his dogs, and caused me much more pain, just to hear me scream. Anything that caused me pain turned him on. Finally, he found ways to make me enjoy the sex because my body is still only human. Despite everything, I believe that was the was worst part, because I wanted nothing pleasurable from him.
(END OF GRAPHIC PART)
He was a very sick and twisted individual. But despite what was done to me, I can now look at him and say I pity him. Someone somewhere taught him these things, maybe even did these things to him too. Control and power were huge deals to him, and I'm pretty sure he was victim himself, but he took a much more negative path then I ever did. I cared only about the others. He admitted in sheer perverse pleasure that while I was being abused he was also raping at least 5 other girls at the same time. I cried for them, wondering what became of them. Did they die? Did they recover? How could I find them and tell them they weren't alone?
One day, I found out my abuser was caught kissing a child I babysat. I was sure he was setting things up to make her his next victim, and I decided to speak out. It was one thing to hurt me, but not the babies. I came forward to my family, who all but rejected me, unable to believe someone so young could commit terrible acts like that, especially since he was family. Rejected, I was left to deal with this on my own, reading, studying, doing everything I could to learn how to get over it. I read somewhere that in the state of Texas, if it is a minor-on-minor case, the oldest is at fault. This meant I could never take my attack to trial.
Angry and hurt that both my parents and the courts were against me, I shoved my feelings in and went into a sort of numb shock for many years. When I was 18, I reinvested myself in recovery, unable to bear the silence any longer. I began checking out support groups, forcing myself into therapy. In my groups, I was the youngest person to attempt recovery, most waiting until their early 30's before trying to heal. This baffled me. I did not want to go the rest of my life carrying this weight.
I found R.I.S.E. while scoping out other sexual abuse groups online, and it caught my interest because it not only covered all three aspects I struggled with, but it specifically covered incest. I was tired of this fact being swept under the rug by most groups, and I wanted to prove how grateful I was that someone 'finally' was taking notice. I made few music videos and pictures for R.I.S.E., but I wanted to do more. Facebook was just taking off so I offered to make them a group page, which later turned into me making this blog and a twitter account.
I spread the message of R.I.S.E. everywhere - emails, signatures, phone calls, my support groups, where ever I could. I eventually asked the founder, Kylie, if I could become the spokesperson for R.I.S.E., and she agreed.
I love this group and the people in it with all my heart. But mostly, I want R.I.S.E. to touch the people that have never come out with their stories. I want it to reach those five girls who's names I never knew. I want it to reach people like that 11 year old that was gang raped everyone supported her rapist. I want it to touch them and tell them we are here for you, we want to help you heal, you are not alone.
I want to help R.I.S.E. go nationwide. I want it to be a name that you can just say, and people automatically know what you're talking about. I want there to be more walks, more chants, more counseling groups, and centers available for people suffering from all, or one, of these issues. I want to go from college to college spreading the work of R.I.S.E. And finally, I want to make it okay to go into high schools and tell them where to find the help they need to recover, because that's the time many kids are getting hurt and suffering, because most people won't speak up about these issues at such a young age.
I hope you will help us get R.I.S.E. there. I hope you want to help break this silence, and prevent other from suffering alone like we did. I hope you want to be that hand offering help, like we do. Join us in spreading the message. Together, we are never alone!
-Rindi
Check out more about R.I.S.E. at any of the following:
Website: avoiceforheather.tripod.com
Myspace: myspace.com/avoiceforheather
Blog: avoiceforheather.blogspot.com
Facebook:www.facebook.com/avoiceforheather
Twitter: www.twitter.com/VoiceforHeather
Email: VoiceforHeather@yahoo.com
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